Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
