I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
