I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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