I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
