All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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