i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
