What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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