is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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