Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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