It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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