When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I am midnight drunk by noon
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
