Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
