we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
