Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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