There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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