its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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