You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
