she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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