i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
