You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
