Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
