Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
