you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
