I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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