so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
