She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
