yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
