Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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