i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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