eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
