They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
