here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
