were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
