I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
