think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
