i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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