dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
