Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
