wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
