we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
