My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
