it's too hot outside to masturbate.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
