Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
