I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
