Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
