is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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