I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
