Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
