it hurts more in the daytime
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
