Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
