I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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