Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Don't tell me you're on acid again
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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