So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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