Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
where are my eyebrows?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
