No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
