haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
