how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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