Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
