You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
