the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize